Skeletons in the mud

Date: Nov 20 1993

The great Quest continues. I have been given the privilege to hunt out the location of the best fish and chips within a reasonable distance to Heidelberg. This Quest often takes me to England. I have failed the last 4 times and will make another attempt in 2 days. Since I have been told that this is a very hard Quest that could last a long time, I have planned on searching every 2 weeks.

The last quest was 2 weeks ago, around Nov 8 I think, when I failed to find any fish and chips at all, my diet forced by the local natives to that of pepper steak, heaps of garlic bread and chickeny things. While I was on this quest, I managed to go to several meetings in the Cambridge area, one being where DEC tried to impress me with their new equipment, having heard some rumor (conveniently started by me) that I have millions to spend on computer junk. The other meeting was in a hick place called Hinxton where I once again did battle with wiring companies and architects wanting a piece of my rumored action.

While in Hinxton, some woman's 1400 year old skeleton was dug up outside the front door. I regret now not going over to have a look see. It started to rain just as I was about to wander out and look and I figured I had seen lotsa skeletons before and decided against it. At the time, the receptionist said it was a guy with his head smashed open. I've since heard that (indirectly) from the Cambridge papers that it was a woman holding a dagger. Anyway, my limo showed up and I and some blonde interviewing there that wanted to share my ride took off.

So Hinxton Hall is haunted. Not by the above mentioned woman, but I think by some dude who was walled up in the Hinxton Hall house by some woman who wanted her lover (him) close by. I don't know the full story. Maybe the husband killed him. Dunno. His body has since been removed. But I think it's his ghost that chases some woman around at night who now refuses to work there at night. It's a neat old house that I explored a little since the ghost conveniently left the window open for me to crawl through. It's currently being renovated.

So after doing all these exhaustive meetings and quests, I decided to wander downtown Cambridge a bit, despite it pouring rain. So there I am, minding my own business, as usual, in the pouring rain, and I hear this tearing sound. rip. rip Rip RiP. People start moving away from me. KaBOOM !!! My Nike running shoes exploded! Both of them now have half-inch diameter holes on the bottom in the same place! I'm sure Nike plants delayed time-bombs in these shoes so you'll go out and buy new ones. So I'm in the middle of a rain storm and my feet are soaked and I'm a 1000 miles from home!

So I walk into this shoe store and tell them to sell me some shoes and socks. They made me buy the most expensive thing they got. So now I got these neato Inspector Gadget leather-gortex water-proof gnarly tread shoe things, and some Doc Martin socks with tread patterns all over them. $250, 300 DM, 125 £ . Still, alot cheaper than they'd be in Germany. So now people think I'm a European, until I open my mouth.

So I'm wandering thru the Frankfurt airport, and Big Brother gets suspicious because of all the UK stamps in my passport over the last 2 months. Looks at my feet.

Those are new shoes, aren't they!?
NOooooo...
Yes they are. How much were they!?!
No. I've had them for a long time!
I can smell them. They're new!
No, thats me you smell!
No, I can smell the shoes which smell like new leather, and I can smell you, which smells real bad!

ok, thats it. Time to see if this Red SonderAusweis passport thing really works or not.

oh yeh?!? well what do you think of..... THIS !!!
arrrrgggggg!!! ow ow ow. take it away!

cool! this is like a crucifix to a vampire. hmmm... hold it closer and see what happens...

ARRRRGGGG!!!! AAAHHHHHHHHooooowWWWWWWoooooWOWoOOW. STOP IT!!! KEEP THE SHOES!!!! OW OW OW OW. STOP.
hahahhahaha
OW OW OW. I GIVE UP. MerCYeeeeee.....
hehehehhehhheeeeh.

sigh. well, I should prepare for the next stage of my Quest I guess. Anyway, I am alive and well and hope to see you some day.

So, I guess some/many of you have heard Mr T(ilden) is leaving UW to be a physicist at Los Alamos, and has now become Dr T. So if you happen to open your Special Edition of Scientific American 'Mind and Brain' from September 1992 (page 42), and see the article with Marks picture, you will see his little robots made from my walkman that he was supposed to fix! So he owes all his fame and fortune and his Doctorate to me. Do you think I'll get monthly cheques from his newly found wealth?
NOOooooo.....

So here I am sitting in a un-heated closet with a TRS-80 working with demented morons making peanuts, while he's gonna be rich and famous all because of my walkman! grrr...